Post 8 - Surgery Day!

You’ve waited for it. You’ve planned for it. You might have even bought a special shirt for it. And now it’s finally here: Surgery Day.

Woo and hoo! No, wait. Boo and moo, more like. (Moo? Whatever.) 

After you’ve arrived at the hospital or surgical center, and been called back to the “special” waiting area, you’ll have a short interview with the assistant nurse. She’ll ask if you have eaten anything and you can proudly say you haven’t. (Unless you’re me. That one time.) 

If you’re having general anesthesia, you’ll meet and talk with the anesthesiologist. Be forewarned: this person is going to see your boobs. In fact, a few people will see them today. Possibly more people than you’ve ever willingly shown them to. 

Suck it up, Princess. You can handle this. 

You’ll probably be given paper slippers for your feet, maybe a cloth cap for your hair, and then led to another room. You’ll be instructed to undress from the waist up, put on a flimsy “cape” thing, and lay back on the operating table. 

After that, most of your responsibility is finished. Congrats! We’ll high five later - when you’re feeling up to it. 

In the meantime, here’s a funny story:

The first time I had surgery, I was really nervous. As soon as the anesthesiologist put my IV in, I started bawling. Quietly. To myself. It didn’t hurt - I was just nervous. 

The anesthesiologist noticed my tears. 

“Are you okay?”

I nodded. 

“Scared?”

I nodded again.

“Oh, well…" he said, at a loss for words. After a second, he brightened. "I bought a puppy home yesterday. Cutest little thing. All legs and ears.”

“Ooh, a puppy,” I said, smiling. Then BOOM. The drugs took effect, and I was out like a light. 

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Next Post 9/23:  To My Breast Friends

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Question: Have you a funny or amusing surgery story?