Epilogue - The Summary of Lumpiness

Being a fairly private person, I rarely tell people I’ve had 11* breast lumps, but lately I’ve found the more I open up the more similar stories I hear in return.

More often than not a girlfriend will casually admit, “Oh, yeah, I found a lump, should I get it checked out?” or “My sister/aunt/mother had one”.

That is why I wrote this blog: for my friends and family. And their friends. And, truth be told, a little for me too. For anyone who is not necessarily dealing with cancer, but is still scared of the unknown lump they just found in their body.

And if you ever do find a lump ---> make an appointment with your doctor. No dallying. No dancing or skirting around the issue. Don’t post on a online forum to ask ‘Can someone describe what cancer feels like?’ or do an internet search to try and self-diagnose. 

Just make the appointment and go.

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This blog is done! Thank you so much for reading. If you have enjoyed, please forward and recommend to others. 

A special thank you to Kelly Turnbull (http://tsalmaveth.deviantart.com) for editing. I really, really appreciate all your work, Kel. Hugs.

*Updated 2015

Post 13 - Two to Tango

Pets are great, snuggly company, but beware of head-butts and/or accidental stepping on your chest. My cat likes to sit on me whenever I am feeling under the weather, and sometimes it actually helps. Like with cramps (furry heating pad). Or restless leg (furry, weighted heating pad).  

Not so much for fresh incisions. 

For the first week, showers will be exhausting. (At least they always are for me.) Your body is healing, seriously healing, so you won’t have a lot of extra energy. You will be sore and tired after all that leaning, bending, and reaching with your arms. 

Be prepared to sleep on your back for a while. Once you are feeling up to it, I suggest hugging a pillow to your chest (added support) in order to roll/sleep on your opposite side. 

Speaking of feeling up to it – bedroom activities between you and your significant other might be put on hold for a little while. Even if you muster the energy, there are other hazards.

Two weeks after my second surgery, my husband and I decided to fool around. We started off carefully enough, but, as it often happens, limbs got tangled, and before you could say ‘breast awareness’ he had accidentally punched me in the boob. 

Not very hard, and obviously not on purpose, but the sudden jolt did pop a stitch. 

Nothing horrific (I didn’t even bleed), but the scar is a teensy bit wider at one end than the other. (Worth it.)

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Next Post 10/28: Opening Up (Last One!)

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Question: Not this week! Just hugs.

Post 12 - Repeat After Me

"Boob ice is quite nice."

Every few hours apply an ice pack on the bandages over your incision. The ice will take down the swelling and the aforementioned thick or warm sensation. 

You may not feel discomfort as much when sitting – that’s good! Keep sitting. Rest as much as possible. Try not to use your adjacent arm. Breast tissue is connected to chest muscles, and you use those for everything. I'm not kidding. If you didn’t notice it before, you definitely will now.  Even simple tasks require pectoral flexing. 

Examples:

• Standing up (especially from low seating)
• Brushing your teeth (whole body shakes)
• Leaning down to flush the toilet (really just the leaning down)

Spaghetti strap tanks tops are fairly easy to put on by stepping into. No arm raising required. Also, they allow easy access for boob ice and checking on incisions. And they look cute.

When removing IV tape, pull in direction of arm hairs. Be brave and rip fast.

However, when you remove boob bandages and gauze, cowardice is king. (Have you ever pulled a bandage off your nipple before? It’s not great.) The tape often starts to itch by the day after surgery, but follow the guidelines set out by your doctor for removal. When it’s time, a little soap and water will help the removal process. Gently does it.

If you are sure you won’t pass out, you can do this yourself. If not, enlist another brave soul. Preferably one who won’t pass out by the sight of dried blood. (Been there!)

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Nest Post 10/21: Carnal Knowledge

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Question: Do you faint at the sight of blood? Know anyone who does? Any good stories out of it?

Post 11 - Let’s Play ‘Sarah Says’

The procedure is done and the offending tissue removed. Everything went well. The doctor will probably call you in 3 to 4 business days with the results of your biopsy. 

Until then, the name of the game is recovery. 

You will probably not remember waking up after surgery, or putting on your sports bra (how the nurse gets that spandex thing over my shoulders without lots of screaming, I’ll never know). You might remember being led back to the “special” waiting area (probably not), or sitting while you “wake up” (not likely). You might recall being loaded into a car (doubtful), or the drive home (not a chance). 

All in all, you probably won’t regain real consciousness until you are back home in your own bed, or tucked up comfortably on the couch. That’s fine. For the best. 

Once the majority of sleepy medications wear off, I always have the sensation that my chest feels abnormally large, or thick, or warm, or all of the above.  Basically, my body knows something major has happened internally, but it’s not sure of what. 

Everyone’s pain tolerance is different; therefore I won’t get into how much pain medication you should or should not take. But know this:

• Narcotics often make you constipated. If you need it, send your guardian out for stool softener. (I ease my embarrassment by taking solace in the knowledge that someone else, not me, had to make the trip to the drug store for poo medicine.)
• Narcotics also make you itch. All over. At least they do me. I have no advice on how to fix this, I just wanted to complain.

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Next Post 10/14:  YOU WILL BE AWKWARDLY SORE

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Question:  Any post-surgery tips and/or advice from your own experience?